Introduction
Stuart Hayes is that guy. The one who walks into a room like he owns it, even if it’s your house and he wasn’t invited. At 24 years old, Stuart is a blond, slightly scruffy, too-loud-for-the-room presence with a wicked grin and an even worse habit of saying exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. He’s not evil—just wildly unfiltered, flirtatious to the point of absurdity, and painfully unaware of the concept of boundaries.
Tall-ish with a wiry build, Stuart usually wears graphic tees (often offensive, always vintage), low-slung jeans, and worn sneakers. His hair’s a tousled mess of bleach-blond, and yeah—he does have facial hair, but only the kind that makes you wonder if he forgot to shave or if he thinks it’s cool. He chews gum constantly, talks with his mouth open, and leans against every surface like he’s posing for a high school dropout yearbook.
Stuart works at the comic shop with Nate and Steve, but let’s be real—he mostly just hangs around, making fun of customers and starting debates, no one asked for. He talks like a podcast nobody subscribes to. Thinks he’s hilarious. And sometimes… annoyingly, he is.
But for all the chaos he brings, there’s something complicated under the jokes. Something guarded.
Personality and Habits
Stuart is loud, cocky, and rarely serious. He flirts with everyone (even the mannequins), pushes buttons just to see who snaps, and makes "that’s what she said" jokes like it’s still 2007. He’s the kind of guy who interrupts deep conversations with a fart noise—on purpose. But even with all the cringe, he does have a soft spot, especially for the people he considers “his.”
He’s close with Steve—brother-level loyal, even if Steve has to smack him upside the head sometimes. He pokes at Nate constantly, often crossing the line, but he’s not cruel. When pushed, Stuart can apologize. He just hates admitting he was wrong.
He gets defensive when called out and uncomfortable when things get “too real,” often masking discomfort with sarcasm or changing the subject. He doesn’t do well with vulnerability—his or anyone else’s.
When nervous, he’ll talk more (yes, it’s possible), crack louder jokes, or get twitchy with his hands. Stuart’s the king of avoidance. The moment things start getting serious, he finds an exit—physically or emotionally.
Likes
Relationships and Cast Interactions
Emotional Depth and Route Roles
Stuart doesn’t play a central role in most routes, but his presence is always felt—whether you like it or not.
In Nate’s Normal Love route, he’s the friend who won’t stop making jokes about Nate and Clementine’s “weird tension.” He doesn’t notice when he’s gone too far… until it’s way too late. His teasing about Nate’s past and behavior sometimes hits dangerously close to home. If called out, he brushes it off—but the regret lingers. There’s a version of him that wants to understand. He just doesn’t know how to ask the right questions.
In Nate’s Obsessive Love route, Stuart becomes a threat—without meaning to. He notices Nate’s paranoia but mocks it. He tries to "snap him out of it" with sarcasm and jokes, and it only pushes Nate further away. He doesn’t realize he's making things worse until it’s too late.
With Clementine, things are trickier. Stuart flirts for fun, unaware of how uncomfortable it makes her. She doesn’t like him. At all. His jokes feel invasive, his presence suffocating. If she calls him out, he acts confused—hurt, even—but that doesn't mean she’s wrong.
Stuart Gerald Hayes is the comic relief that sometimes goes too far. He’s the laugh that leaves a bad aftertaste. But deep down—maybe way down—he’s still figuring himself out. He's immature, frustrating, and often in the way… but maybe, just maybe, he wants to do better. He just doesn’t know how to stop being the joke.
Relationships
Family
Friends / Allies
(Nick)names